The buzz on bees…

Bees are a funny business. One minute they’re in deadly peril, the next, they’re cruising for bargains down the local high street – with an apparent soft-spot for Topshop.

Environmentalists have been up in arms about their dwindling numbers for years, warning about the devastation that this will have on our food supply, and reminding us of such facts as ONE SINGLE TEA SPOON OF HONEY IS EQUAL TO THE  LIFES WORK OF TWELVE HONEY BEES and that, when taking those long, lush honey baths we’re all so used to, we should at least remember to pop down to Wholefoods to be sure to fill our tubs with organic.

Now that bees appear to be dropping like flies, it seems we may all need to start cultivating an appetite for alternative food sources. Our future shopping lists may well included Heinz Baked Ants (bees would be so much better here, but, alas…), Walkers salt and vinegar (will we have grapes to make vinegar?) flavoured crickets, and Levi Roots’ Jerk Spiders. Well, that sounds fine, but, whilst dining out: “Would madam care for a bamboo soup?” Hmm. You’ve lost me there.  “And for desert, a self-pollinating apple tart?” I know a self-pollinating apple will look just like a normal apple, but I keep picturing it spinning in my hand. (If you were round and self-pollinating, wouldn’t you spend your time just rolling in yourself?)

Anyway, to prepare us for the appetising eventuality of this screaming disaster, here are a few documentaries to keep us up at night (standing in the glow of the open fridge, taking a mental picture of the contents as a keepsake…):

BeesVanishing of the Bees (2009)

MV5BMTYwMDA1NDI1MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDM0MzQ4OQ@@._V1_SX640_SY720_More than Honey (2012)


Screen Shot 2014-05-20 at 21.40.54


Screen Shot 2014-05-20 at 21.47.34



posted by Dixie Turner

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