Hollywood’s Favourite Disaster: Child Celebrity (Long Live Lindsay/Viva La Lohan)

Lindsay Lohan – 26 today.

CELEBRITY TRAIN WRECK – the media loves it. Twitter loves it; twitter goes wild with it. At home, at work, in the street people ooh and ahh and tut and suddenly we’re all experts on What’s Wrong in a stranger’s life. We feed ourselves with updates about their love lives, their professional lives, their daily lives; if they shop at Wholefoods; if their nails are too long or too short; if they’ve changed their hair, or their lover or their t-shirt. If they have a temper; if they have a secret; if they have the ‘wrong’ lover; if they have a ‘dark side’; if they snort too much coke, then it’s even better. We’re addicted to their addictions. Like the fact that they eat pizza and that they occasionally cry – sometimes even in public (that’s seriously crazy – we should read about that…).

Lindsay Lohan, darling of Disney (but not any more), what has become of you? People say you did this to yourself, but did you really? An ambitious mamma and a crazy papa – they sent you out into the world in your nappies to face the camera, to win the prize, to learn to sell and to sell and to sell. And the world loved you – we lapped you up, all cute and freckley, playing dress-up like a big girl, acting like Marilyn. Who taught you to seduce the world when you were just a child? Was it us? And where are you now, all cut and bruised with the same world laughing its head off? Where are we, those same anonymous faces who championed you so? Where have we left you?

Drug addicted. Insecure. Desperate. Depressed.

And yet, still we watch you when you cross the road or run out for a can of soda; we’re still there to record your every move – are we afraid for you? Do we think you’ll fall? Or are we just waiting for you to fall? And who are we anyway? Addicted? For sure. Insecure, desperate and depressed? Probably. But it’s so much easier just to point at you. Self-pointing hurts the wrist.

HOW FAST DID THE SUITS DROP YOU AND THE TIES UNTIE YOU WHEN YOU WERE CAUGHT DRINKING, PUSHING THE WRONG BUTTON, LAUGHING TO THE WRONG JOKE WHEN YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN SIPPING CHERRY COKE AND TELLING THE WORLD THAT WHEN YOU GROW UP YOU WANT TO BE JUST LIKE MICKEY MOUSE AND LESS LIKE AMY WINEHOUSE?

Happy Birthday, Lindsay Lohan. Don’t let us get you down. x

posted by Dixie Turner

Leave a comment

2 Comments

  1. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article
    author for your blog. You have some really great posts and I believe I would be a good
    asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back
    to mine. Please blast me an email if interested. Kudos!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: