New Releases: 20/2/12

WARRIOR: Be-muscled lads, Tom Hardy (Bronson) and Joel Edgerton (The Thing) play brothers destined to slug it out in the ring under papa Nick Nolte’s unwincing eye. Underdog vs. Superstar – which brother will pound the other into a sticky goo? Directed by Gavin O’Connor (Miracle). Cert. 15




REAL STEEL: More boxing, fewer muscles. Hugh Jackman (wolverine) plays Charlie, an ex-fighter down on his luck who teams up with his young son to train A ROBOT to pound another robot into a sticky (and sharp?) goo. Transformers vs. Rocky. Iron Giant vs. The Fighter. Directed by Shawn Levy (Night at the Museum). Cert 12.



FRIGHT NIGHT: Re-make of the 1985 film of the same name. Colin Farrell, David Tennant and Toni Colelette are the latest actors to succombe to the lure of  vapire-fever… A mysterious stranger with big sharp teeth moves in next door and suddenly bodies begin to appear – enter Peter Vincent (played by David Tennant), Las Vegas magician by day, vampire-slayer by night. Hope he has sequined stakes and diamante garlic… Directed by Craig Gillespie (Lars and the Real Girl). Cert. 15



VANISHING ON 7TH STREET: If you’re afraid of the dark, best not to watch this one. Just stay at home under the sun lamp. Hayden Christensen (Star Wars 1) stars in this thriller where the dark literally devours… Directed by Brad Anderson (The Machinist). Cert. 15



DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK:  Guy Pearce (LA Confidential) and Katie Holmes (Dawson’s Creek) live in a scary mansion. It becomes scarier when 8 year-old Sally discovers something alive in the dark. Not a kitty. Cert. 15



WELL-DIGGER’S DAUGHTER: Daniel Auteuil stars and directs in this family drama. A young woman has a child out of wed-lock with a soldier who has been sent to the front…. Cert. PG. French with Eng Subs.



MISS BALA: In a society dominated by violence, a young woman dreams of becoming a beauty queen. Cert. 15. Spanish with Eng. subs

Trailer :

THE SILENCE: A film that’s being compared to The Killing and Wallander surely can’t be bad. This thriller focuses on 2 crimes committed 23 years apart, exploring the mindsets of both the detectives and the criminals involved. Cert 15. German with English subs.



GIRL MODEL: A documentary feature, released by the ever-fantastic Dogwoof, exploring the complex supply chain within the modelling industry of teenage girls to satisfy a market increasingly hungry for fresh and young faces. Cert. E



HOW TO STOP BEING A LOSER: Let us count the ways:

Stop writing a blog that nobody reads,

Stop tweeting inane rubbish about your personal life or what toppings are on your pizza as though anyone actually cares,

Stop acting like every decision you make in life from the drink you buy to the film you watch isn’t a political one,

Stop acting like polar ice caps melting are someone else’s problem and that even if the world does end we’ll all just fly away in fancy a balloon,

Stop complaining that it’s cheaper to buy your DVDs on Amazon because they OWN HALF THE WORLD SO THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY LIKE.

Or you can just watch the film… Cert. 15








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1 Comment

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